i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
