Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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