There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize