Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
