i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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