bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
be right there i have to get my cape
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
