The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
