your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
