How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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