First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
