We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
