I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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