The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
