You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Alive.
So much puke
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
