today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
