i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
