maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize