i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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