that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
