how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
