You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
