i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
