Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
