yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize