I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
