My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
