areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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