You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
