the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
