Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize