I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
