At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
