she was so not down for the gang bang
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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