i love accidental penises.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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