DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
