HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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