the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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