At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
