I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
