Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
