I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
