he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
