but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
