You made me cry and you don't even care
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
