im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
