i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
