Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
