so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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