i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
