My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
