i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
