i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
