Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
