Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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