Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
