She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
