it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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