So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
