Do vagina's smell?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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