there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
